I saw his body thrashing round. I saw his heart rate going down. I saw him in convulsive throes. I said, "I'll have one of those. ". Hillary had Everest in his veins;. Armstrong did moo...
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1. (he'll Never Be An) 'ol Man River 2. (i Think I've Got) Mick Jagger Worked Out Why is Mick so arrogantly dismissive. Of all those girls who want to be his missus?. And why are so many songs about. Girls on whom he has walked out?. Why is his band called The Rolling Stones, Which...3. (i'm Gonna Sit Right Down And) Whittle Away My Fur It's a haunting world we live in full of despair. I ponder on man's great questions as I whittle away my chair. I've seen a lot of problems in my lonely life. Torment and psychosis - wh...4. 40 Years - Then Death All that's good, all that's right;. Everything hot, all that's tight;. Women, men, pubescent girls, Never again to finger their curls. On their heads so exquisite -. Never again to visi...5. A Faceful Of Divertimenti Life is like cum, you gag but you swallow. When it goes down your windpipe and comes out tomorrow. Oh! Never forget that you'll never remember. My name once your lip's off my member. Remembe...6. Abscess Makes The Heart Grow Fonder Come live with me and be my love. And we will all the pleasures prove:. Buy a house! Build an extension!. A life of weary exhaustion. To fill our days - but wait! There's more!. I'll throw i...7. All Ordinaries Index All ordinaries index it screams out in the night. All ordinaries index it hunts me to my bed. All ordinaries index it fills my room with loathing. All ordinaries index it never leaves my side. All ord...8. Anarchy Means Crossing When It Says 'don't Walk Got my money in my pocket;. Got my car keys in my hand;. Got my copy of Das Kapital;. Gonna go down the library. Got my amps up on full;. Got my guitar on my hips;. Got my kettle on the boil;. Gonna m...9. And The Ass Said To The Angel: 'wanna Play Kick To Talk to anyone these days and, you know, it seems. Eventually they'll tell you about some heavy scenes. When they were living this druggie friend -. You gotta look real serious, or at least prete...10. Apology Of The Thai Drug Runner Drugs are fucking fun, pal:. Factor that fucking in. To your Drug O-fucking-fensive. Type health fucking warnin'. There ain't a lot that's fun, pal:. Old age, and school, and dreams. Of...11. Aussiemandias Some people hate the Muslims. Some people hate the gips;. Some people have no problem. Picking on the nips -. How would you like to know about. The cocks your mother sucked?. It's one great long...12. Australia - The World's Suburb Maybe it makes you more intense. When your county's small and you live in tents;. Kurds get gas and die to win. Land from Yass to Deniliquin. Israel is the merest sliver, Fits between Hay and the...13. Babies Bite Back You stroke them with your knitting needles. You squash them with tender loving care. You raise them to your inhibitions. And drown them in gin. But don't turn your back now. Keep your wide eyes p...14. Backstage With Ron Hitler Come backstage with Ron Hitler -. I invite you, Aussie youth, To see your heroes in the flesh, And learn the horrid truth;. Yes, backstage here at Homebake. The facade is ripped away. And the cream of...15. Bash This Up Your Ginger Don't you wish a comet. Would forget Jupiter, And try for the jackpot. And hit us instead?. We would all be cactus, But there is a bright spot:. At least we'd die knowing. Doug Mulray was de...16. Bfw Christina Aguilera:. Some dead-eyed child bride. Has learnt to dance. BFW. Sisqo: One pack of vicious blacks. hates another. BFW. Moby: A geography teacher. Bought a blues record. BFW. Radiohead: Rede...17. Bishop = Handjob On March the seventeenth, you've got to wear green;. On June the tenth, you've got to like the Queen;. At a buck's night, you've got to be one of the blokes;. On April the first, y...18. Boot Party You don't need Chardonnay. No sushi, no pate. Just get your mates around. Some bastard on the ground. Boot Party. Accepted etiquette. Is spilling the claret. We damn near could use bibs. Tonight...19. Channel Turd The people who make it. How do they live?. The producer's a jackal. The director's a spiv. At P. R. they're liars. The sound guy is a slime. The hostess is a bimbo. With a petulant whi...20. Choose Bad Smack Choose bad smack, put Omo in your coke, Snort it up the hoota, gulp it down the throat;. Choose bad smack, don't choose life:. Leaves you high, and your clothes whiter than white. I love the adre...21. Come Back Dj, Your Record Is Scratched Come back DJ. What's wrong with this track?. This ain't no cutting-edge groove. It's the needle skipping back. Everybody's got disrhythmia. This breakbeat's so confusing. They...22. Consumption Tax Bought a car the other day, Man, could that baby run;. But you know what they always say:. There's always a better one. Wrote a song the other day, Best thing I've ever sung;. Another band b...23. Dazed And Confucious I want to be in the avant garde, But I'll never do it, it's just too hard. I wear the clothes like a pine head, But when it's 10:30, I'm off to bed. Chorus:. Go to bed. Week night...24. Death Death Death Amway Amway Amway Bruises bruises bruises. Cuts cuts cuts. Giblets Giblets Giblets. Guts guts guts. Death - Death. Hacksaw hacksaw hacksaw. Scrape scrape scrape. Murder murder murder. Rape rape rape. Torture torture to...25. Defecate On My Face Come home tired, what a day I've had;. News ain't good from Stalingrad -. I been busy protecting the German race, So come on baby, defecate on my face. Chorus:. C'mon baby, send it on d...26. Dicktatorship The New South Wales Right. Have cocks like mastodons -. There's number crunching men. Like Graham Richardson;. Those smoky backroom boys. Can perform in the sack:. Power is the greatest. Known ap...27. Doug Parkinson Sings Christie Allen Nature is the first cause and the fundamental creative principle in all active living, but the function of the system is to provide the degree and the right moment for each, and to lay down the cleare...28. Drop The 'tude At the art gallery, the attendant wouldn't stop:. Drop the attitude, love - you're working in a shop. The AGM of BHP comes around:. Drop the attitude, chairman - you dig holes in the ground....29. Dumb 'n' Base Club culture unites the globe. All nations pulsin' to the same strobe. Down in Melbourne we think togetherness. Means connecting in a literal sense. If you want house you go to Chicago. Brussels...30. Eckermann Is Very Silly Eckermann does, Eckermann doesn't, Eckermann switched on the current. Eckermann will, Eckermann won't, Eckermann dug the moat. Eckermann is, Eckermann isn't, Eckermann is quite pleasant...31. Everyone Else Has Had More Sex Than Me Everyone else has had more sex than me. uuuuhh!!. Everyone else has had more sex than me. uuuuuuhh!!. Everyone else has had more sex than me. Does anyone else get that feeling?. Teenagers, naked, coup...32. Existentialtism You know, me and my baby, no couple like us;. We got our Sartre, we got our Camus. I love her 'cos I hate the stinking bitch -. She's like a train - or a horse - I forget which. Chorus:. Who...33. Ezra Pound - Axe King Ezra Pound was a great young man, Though possibly a bit of a dandy;. And when it comes to writing things down, You know, he was pretty handy. But remember this, you pretentious shits. With your books...34. Ezra Pound - Axe King 2 Part One: The Ballad of J. Alfred White Australia Policy. Let us go then, you and I. With the patient stretched out against the sky. And the women come and go. And talk lots of symbolic crap. Part Tw...35. Five Yards You're only one fad away from being retro. You're only one drug away from liking techno. You're only one glasses of pair from dyslexia. You're only one Cleo mag from anorexia. You&...36. Fourteen Years In Rowville You can go and buy a shottie. Hold up the local TAB. Or steal a few VCRs. Or try a smash and grab. You won't be getting half the loot. Your lawyer Q. C. will. You may as well obey the law. I sen...37. Fuck 'em, Fuck 'em - The Lot Of 'em Who needs one more tortured artist. Whingeing about the pain. Of being a creative genius. And the heavy burden of fame?. O! The struggles they have nightly. Let's them understand completely. The...38. Garbage I met a member of Generation X. Said, "What's in with you kids these days?. I'm so old I'll probably never've heard of it" -. And then he said, "Purple Haze. "....39. Gas! Gas! An Ecstacy Of Fumbling Drivin' along, something pollutin' the air - well, uh, Don't worry baby, it must be the area. Chorus:. C'mon, baby, let me drive you home;. I'm as sensitive as Wilfred Owen. W...40. Get Thee In My Behind, Satan I'm courageous, I'm heroic, I'm fit and I'm strong;. I've been to Young and Jackson's with lipstick on;. I'm worn my Kunta Kinti T-shirt to a Klu Klux meet -. But I&...41. Get Thee To A Nunnery Was it God or the devil?. Tell me, somebody. Who put Sophie Lee. In Sophie Lee's body?. Is it better or worse? -. I'll pay you some money -. Is it better or worse. When she tries to be funny...42. Gimme Gimme Nervous Breakdown My wife and kids left me, My job is on the line, My life is in the toilet but, But I still feel just fine. I've tried over working, Staying up at night, I've eaten all the wrong foods but, B...43. Give Up For Australia May all our young Aussie swimmers. Be resigned to failure;. May all out T. V. stations. Be like other nations' -. "Give up! Give up! Give up! for Australia. ". May Timorese fishermen....44. Go The Knuckle If I'd gone and done a cruciate - got a reco on the knee -. Been carried wounded from the ground; fallen, but with glory, Then I could have grown a moustache and joined the R. S. L, Thumped my fi...45. Gotta Root Out Of It I've gone to Meryl Tankard's alternative dance space. I've lied like Richard Nixon, "yeah the show was really great". I've been to putrid parties held in upper Melton Wes...46. Greg! The Stop Sign! Ba-ba-ba ba-ba-ba-ba ba-ba, Ba-ba-ba ba-ba-ba-ba ba-ba, Ba-ba-ba ba-ba-ba-ba ba-ba, Ba-ba-ba ba-ba-ba-ba ba-ba, The guy who slagged the football team, Those yobs were not for him, He turns into a real...47. Hello To All Our New Tism Fans Hello to all our new TISM fans. Who might be here for the very first time -. "I'm on the drug that killed River Phoenix":. What a catchy and commercial first line. And on behalf of all...48. Honk If You Love Fred Durst God looked at the spread sheets for Christianity. "We need more than product placement on R&B CDs. Youth masses ain't workin, cut the Pope's budget back. Get the youth demographic t...49. I Don't Want Tism, I Want A Girlfriend Don't wanna do soundchecks;. Don't wanna do gigs;. Don't wanna do any rehearsal;. I just wanna get a girl -. Maybe have kids -. A total role reversal. Put away my songbook;. Put away my...50. I Drive A Truck Truck you, Australia Felix;. Truck you, the sheep's back;. Truck you, Tasmania;. Truck you, Big Mac. Chorus. I drive a truck. Truck you, Scotch and soda;. Truck you, the Underground;. Truck you,...51. I Go Off I'm young and feral and free. My freshness is assisted chemically. And if you don't keep a lid on me. I go off. Nobody tells me what to do. I'm out on the edge - I hang with my crew. An...52. I Might Be A Cunt, But I'm Not A Fucking Cunt I might have called my kid Jarrod, but I never called him Wayne. I might've gone to the casino, but I'll never go again. I might've screwed your sister, but I'll never screw your m...53. I Shit Me Work, play; Night, day -. They shit me. Good, bad; Happy, sad -. They shit me. He, she; They, we -. They shit me. Rich, poor; Less, more -. They shit me. Out, in; Fat, thin -. They shit me. Black, whi...54. I'll 'ave Ya You look like Yassa Arafat, You look like Indira Ghandi;. You look like Andre Gromeko -. You look like Roberts; Sandy. Chorus:. I'll 'ave ya. You look like Ronald Regan, You look like Adolf...55. I'm Interested In Apathy I know how to cheat at Tattslotto. I got a great idea for a song. I know the truth about Marylin Monroe. I can prove Einstein's theory wrong. But that's not what motivates me. I'm inter...56. I'm Into Led Zep Turn off the radio. I've taken a drastic step:. From now on. I'm into Led Zep. Chorus. "Crash through or crash" -. Gough Whitlam said that. They don't do interviews. And they...57. If You Ever Hear His Name, Harden Not Your Arterie I'm such a turd that I wouldn't sell Elle McPherson's dad a ranger;. I'm such a loser I'll be one of the few not to bang her;. I've got a worse job than a sweating TISM r...58. If You Want The Toilet, You're In It Maybe you got Commodore. Maybe you got four door. Maybe you got Corrolla. Maybe you got Rolla. Maybe it got four on floor. Maybe it need some more. I don't care what you have, Just root your mum...59. If You're Creative, Get Stuffed My dad's a builder, His friend's a plumber, They're both getting cancer. And you can get fucked. He works like a nigger. For a moderate figure -. We're not underprivilidged, But yo...60. If You're Not Famous At Fourteen, You're Finished Some people think it's in your genes. Others find that view extreme. Either way, like an old has-been. You're finished now when you're fourteen. The pressure's on - you're off...61. If You're Ugly, Forget It Oh, can you see that girl's. Immaculate shoulder?. Do you want to get. Your name on her folder?. Hope may spring eternal. But you should not let it:. Hear the unspoken words -. "If you'...62. In Defense Of Poetry " A sudden blow: the great wings beating still ". GET DRUNK AND HURT SOMEBODY. " Busy old fool, unruly son ". GET DRUNK AND HURT SOMEBODY. " The sea is calm tonight. The tide...63. Jack Elliot's Turf Whinge I'll be your back-door man. Rectangular with a wire-mesh screen. I'll be your back-door man. Rectangular with a wire-mesh screen. I'll be your back-door man. By the way, how are the kid...64. Jesus Pots The White Ball Why play rock 'n' roll?. It's a question fundamental:. Take Jimbo from The Doors, you'll find. Which one's incidental;. Take the music from the industry, You're left with...65. Johnny To B. Or Not To B. Goode Johnny's Mum took drugs and alcohol;. Johnny's mates knew she was a mole;. She told Johnny to be a rock and roll star -. He said, "No way, I'm staying right where I are. ". Ch...66. Julius Seizure (act Iii, Scene Ii, Verse 73-118) Second Plebian: Peace! Let us hear what Anthony can say. Anthony: You gentle Romans-. All: Peace, ho! Let us hear him. Anthony: I come to praise, not to bury, the shoddy and the rooted -. To lament fo...67. Jung Talent Time Bert Newton; Warwick Capper; Samantha Fox; Richard Wilkins; Don Lane; Rocky Burnette; Ernie Sigley; Olivia Newton John; New Kids On The Block; Billy Ray Cyrus; Uri Geller; A Flock Of Seagulls; Betty B...68. Kate, Fischer Of Men I know he owns a paper Kate, but I buy one every day;. It's not that he's rich and successful that you love him, so you say, Which makes me feel so much better, Kate, cos I'm not any of...69. Kevin Borich Expressionism Being a rock and roll star's not good enough for me -. I'm a-craving respectability. My career is taking a different course-a:. Watch out world, I'm gonna be a author. I'm swapping...70. Kevin Borich Expressionism Parts 1,2 And 4 I. You've gotta work real hard, To be a solo man, You've gotta hang. Shit on married men. You've gotta go to bars, And smoke in bands, You've gotta think. That you're happy. I...71. Kill Americans Kill all the red-blooded, flag waving, young yankee boys, String their torsos up, and use their dicks as toys, Nuke every U. S. city, blow them to the sky-. Every single fucking Yank deserves to fuck...72. Kill Yourself Now And Avoid The Rush Your life is like a candle. Lighting your way. A beacon in the darkness. So snuff it right away. The world is like a oyster. A fortune inside. The pearl is waiting for you. So clam up and die....73. Leo's Toltoy Please let me introduce myself, I'm a man of wealth and taste-. But just like that first line, my ideas all come from another place. I'm gonna tell you a story, the main character? - well, i...74. Let's Club It To Death Excuse me, can I have this dance?. There's an ill will blowin' in my pants. My friends call me John, you can call me Breaker Morant. Let's club it to death. Chorus. Gimme your seal of a...75. Let's Form A Company You say tomato, I say tomato;. You say Oscar Wilde, I say Rambo;. You say art, I say relevant;. You say rock, I say intelligent. Chorus:. Let's form a company, Let's do it now;. Let's f...76. Life Kills Why worry about the lives we're trying to save. When we're born astride a grave?. Being healthy is carcinogenic -. Life's a game show called It's Epidemic. Chorus. Life Kills Life...77. Life Kills 2 I gotta bit of brain. Lodged between my ears. It waited for its moment. It festered there for years. I stumbled on this earth. The demon in me growing. I died a cold and lonely death. The day I starte...78. Lillee Caught Dilly Bowled Milli Vanilli Don't want no fifties rockabilly - I want Milli Vanilli. Don't want no Noiseworks woman hot chilli - I want Milli Vanilli. Don't want doctor send me no billy - I want Milli Vanilli. Don...79. Long Hard Thirst Needs A Big Cold Beer, But I Dr The beer's all been bought with my brother's I. D;. My folks are away, and they've left only me:. The whole suburb knows - no need to call up -. My place tonight for a teenage piss up....80. Lose Your Delusion Ii I. Turn off S. B. S, Forget Mary Kostakidis -. Like the rest of us, I guess, She can no longer so impress;. Why continue to keep trying. To separate the real news from the lying?. In the end it all co...81. Loser, Losing, Lost I. The scene at Appomattox;. The Greeks at Thermopylae;. The men at Dienbienphu. Lining up to die:. A million ghosts will stop the throat. Of any who does mock. General Grant and General Lee. And all...82. Lyric For Jack Who shot John F. Kennedy?. Who blew him to the sky?. Wasn't Lee Harvey Oswald:. No way - it was I. Dunno why I did it;. He didn't deserve to die;. But there you go; it's a funny world...83. Martin Scorcese Is Really Quite A Jovial Fellow Howdy champ - you been pickin' the daisies?. Feelin' sort of morally lazy?. Ready to go mother fucking crazy?. Please to meet you - name's Marty Scorcese. Why don't we go catch a m...84. Michael Hutchence In Hell I dreamed I saw Hutchence last night, Alive as you and me:. "Michael," I said, "I thought you're dead -. Saw the funereal on TV. ". "Yeah, that's right Ron," th...85. Michael Jackson's Conveyor Belt Where did my illusions go?. I found out Michael Jackson ain't no longer a Negro;. I found he does his moonwalk with mechanical help -. Goebbels used the Big Lie, Jackson used a belt. Don't t...86. Mistah Eliot - He Wanker [from: "Sixteen Nights of Violent Orgasm With The Masters of English Literature"]. T. S. Eliot tuned the radio, couldn't get rid of the static:. Serves him right for being so fucking e...87. Morrison Hostel Jimbo, boy, you're a croc of shit, You're a boozed, selfish thug;. Why don't you give your mouth a go. And in the other hole put a plug?. By Christ you've got a long long way. On a...88. Mourningtown Ride Don't get off the train at Richmond. The skins want your Doc Martins. Don't get off the train at Camberwell. The writers want your Air Jordons. Don't get off the train at Essendon. You&...89. Mr. Ches Baragwanath - State Auditor General Been reading The Age; there on the page is a rebel without applause -. In the State politics game things wont be the same and you know that's because. Of the man who's black; by Christ he&ap...90. My Brilliant Huntington's Chorea 'Huntington's disease, however, is a rare, fatal inherited disorder for which no known cure exists. The patient suffers progressive loss of mental functioning due to brain-cell death in the...91. My Generation There's violence on the television. And letter bombs in the mail:. But things can't be all that bad. 'Cos Derryn Hinch went to jail. Famine eats up children;. The peace talks always fai...92. Neighbours - Everybody Loves Good Neighbours I. Cancer? Cancer?! I dream of cancer -. Cancer can eat my bones:. O, lucky I would consider myself. To be racked by cancerous moans. A fate more evil, a life more lost. The Devil for me foresaw:. Ima...93. Never Mind The Bollocks, Here's The House Of Repre Will you be able to take the danger?. Can you stand the heat?. Will the honourable member for Blacktown. Resume his fucking seat?. It's in the parliamentary process. That true danger dwells:. The...94. Nick Cave And Jim Morrison Play Kick To Kick I bang with a whimper;. Nothin' could be simpler -. Up yours, you bastards:. You can fuck off for starters. This is the way the world ends. This is the way the world ends. Not with a bang, but wi...95. Opposite Day "There's seven different movies at the city multiplex;. Let's both not go to school today and give the brain a rest -. You can't say missing one day could be taken seriously -. You...96. Play Mistral For Me It takes a great person to get a idea. But don't go public it'll ruin the plan. Because no matter how clever and original you are. You're only as good as your fans. Peter Garrett chanti...97. Professor Derrida Deconstructs I know that the Romans came after the Greeks;. I went to a lecture to hear Robert Hughes speak -. I am honoured, cultured, literate - and yet. All of my life I've had one main regret. I wish I&ap...98. Pus I've got trouble with my mother;. I've got trouble with my wife;. I've got an apple fritter -. Slit my stomach open. Chorus:. Whole lotta love. Pus Pus Pus Pus. John Mc. Clintoff. John...99. Pus Of The Dead Everybody's got it, Every guy and girl:. Wait until you snuff it, You'll have it as well. The pus of the dead is yummy, It froths up on your mouth, It comes up in your tummy. When you'v...100. Put Your Dog To Sleep Kill your kids, Take their life;. Spill your milkshake, Divorce your wife. Cancel third party. On your car, Do 120K's. Into a Jaguar. Break your back. In the spinal ward, Shoot of your toes. When...101. Rebel Without A Paunch So my hair is sorta thinning and a colour's been applied;. And, yeah, O. K, about the paunch - I guess I sorta lied;. But you won't hear me whining like those fucking teeny stars. When I&apo...102. Recorded By Triple J, Jan 23 1993, Melbourne Showg Somalia has got the hunger. Yugoslavia's battle will always rage. Germany's got a guilty conscience. And Magic Johnson, he's got AIDS. But in the global battle for misery. You know, we...103. Ron Hitler Barassi Talks About How He Does It Two fart jokes for the punters and one smart one for the crits. Don't Get stuck with washing costumes and the other boring bits. Then sit back and eat your breakfast right off that hooker's...104. Root Tend tend tend, Tend to your trodden lives, While I I I. Poke you between the eyes;. I can smell smell smell, Smell you from here. 'Cause your pants pants pants. Are stained with fear....105. Russia I stiffed in Byelorussia;. Blew out in Chernigov;. There's a pub in Lithuania. That I got kicked out of -. No gigs in Vladivostok, No work in Atbasar;. Not movin' all that much stock. In Kaz...106. Saturday Night Palsy I don't want to live and I don't want to die. I want to shoot heroin through the eye;. I want it to shine and I want it to rain. I want to get hit by a freight train. Chorus:. Be-bop-a-lula-...107. Schoolies Week I was waiting at the Pearly Gates. But the angels said "It's members only, mate". St. Peter was shepherding in the meek. But all he said to me was "Schoolies Week. ". Lucifer...108. Sickie Why get bored from your working day?. Take a sickie with full pay. You wanna boost producivity?. Don't go to work, you're far too healthy. Take it easy, coast along. come in second, get it w...109. State Schools Are Great Schools It's harsh, it's mean, it's brutal, The people by nature are cruel;. It's a den of sin and they let kids in -. It's a government secondary school. Children can't go into...110. Strictly Loungeroom If your Luke Perry sideburns just wont grow - that's dancin'!. Or if you can't seem to dress like they do in Cosmo - that's dancin'!. You admitted you don't like the tast...111. Subliminal Satanic Message Metallica are a bunch of wooses -. There ain't no reason to hide. Behind no backward Satanic message:. Just go off and suicide. Someone please play this song backwards -. "Satan loves you&qu...112. Take Your Love Take your love;. Boil it in a pot -. Scrape the sides. From bottom to top;. Wrap the rest in The Age, Tie it in a knot, Bury it deep in the ground. And forget the lot. Wait twenty years. In secret hop...113. Tale Of Two Faeces One day fine, passing together along the same sewage line, two little faeces met. Said the first, as they moved towards their destination, "How do you poo?" Replied the second, with no furth...114. Teenage Fucking Jesus Teenage Fucking Jesus got His mother’s first perusal. She probably still had quite a lot of the epidural. She held Him in her arms and said: "He’s Teenage Fucking Jesus. ". It&...115. Ten Points For A Razor Scooter Five points for hitting petrol-heads, Jet-skiers too. No points for hitting P Platers, they do the work for you. Three points for a Volvo-driver, dock one for stereotyping. But here's the way to...116. The Art-income Dialectic Art is for the filthy rich and their noble fucking minds, Cause they're the only arseholes with any fucking time. To get to the theatres and the galleries and the restaurants to dine. While all t...117. The Australian Guitar Hero Makes His Last Stand In a tiny inner city pub the amps were being stacked;. Leads were getting wound up; it was full of pissed ANZACS;. "Got no more gigs for Tuesday nights," said the barman to the Star, "W...118. The Back Upon Whic Jezza Jumped The back upon which Jezza jumped and rode into the ground;. The humiliated vertebrae that mighty mark crushed down;. That pathetic platform from which Jesualenko leapt into the sky;. That ladder to im...119. The Ballad Of John Bonham's Coke Roadie There's nothing on T. V. but a thing. Called Scarecrow and Mrs. King. You sit and watch it while your wife. Becomes the play thing of another man's life:. It don't bother me, I'm...120. The Ballad Of Paul Keating I. I love a sunburnt country, A land of pouring rain -. Where the only thing you cannot be. Is someone with a brain. Paul, he could be wrong, But that's not where he erred:. How dare he just come...121. The Ballad Of The Semetic Nazi They called my dad the only Rabbi in jackboots;. They called my mum the wife of my dad;. They circumcised me at the Nuremburg rally:. That's how I became a Semitic Nazi for life. My mum always to...122. The Fosters Carpark Boogie I'm a bogan, baby, always was;. I'm only happy when I punch a Mod -. And in walks this pine head turd, I looked at my mates, said, "Thank you, God. ". Dyed black hair, done all spi...123. The Judeo-christian Ethic I dipped my donga in some dog food, I found I couldn't stop;. Wanted to get some more, but it was a long way to the shop. Don't know what I'm doing, but I sure know where I've been...124. The Law Of Repulsion After Orgasm When I'm drunk I can't remember that I'm drinking to forget, And back comes that vision, you know it haunts me yet -. I'm as guilty as Macbeth, she's my Banquo -. You shoulda...125. The Love You Take Equals The Love You Make So Baby Watch out John, I'm coming to get you, And maybe your Japanese wife;. Watch it John, I'm going down to the park, And there, on a knife's. Edge your life will be poised as I pull. With s...126. The Men's Room The fucking kids are whinging. They can't get a job;. The photocopy repair man. Is a smarmy smartarse knob;. I've been running this office. For so long I can't recall -. I've gone...127. The Mordialloc Road Duplicator I was born in the emergency lane. Of a 6-lane German autobahn. The opening of the first 8 lane fly-over. Was my old father's favourite yarn. I'd knew that I'd be, sooner or later. The f...128. The Mystery Of The Artist Explained I've been working 76 hours per week;. I hate evert moment -. But I do it because. Somehow I like the pain. Chorus:. I'm fucked in the head. When I was five years old. I fell in love with my...129. The Only Thing Stopping Me From Being Happier Is T I been listenin' to silverchair, now I wish I was a freak;. Been readin' The River Ophelia - I'd love a masochistic streak;. But I am just a normal guy - I even use capital "S"...130. The Tism Boat Hire Offer Confronting society can begin to tire:. Just come on down to TISM boat hire -. When you wanna do a line no one will reproach ya. When you dangle it from the side of a little six stroker. Chorus:. Vote...131. The Tism Nightsoil Cart And Horse Blues Children soften their parents' hardened features;. Students busy buying presents for their teachers;. Wives cuddle husbands, and playfully tease 'em;. Poets write lyrics, some of which pleas...132. There's More Men In Children Than Wisdom Knows It was at that very bar I had my worst trip -. It was only last Saturday, I'd come to the Grip. With Keegan and Troy and a few other skegs. When this weird dude comes up to me and he says:. "...133. Thou Shalt Not Britney Spear If I were Britney's boyfriend. I'd be playing hard to get. She'd come around beggin' for me, but. I'd say, "No no, not yet. Cos God has told me personally. That I should...134. Tism Club Song Come on girls, we've suffered for our art, Now it's time for you to do your part:. Ask a roadie, come backstage -. Even though you're half our age -. And we'll do! And we'll d...135. Untz Untz Untz Untz Stopped at the lights in my car, Untz Untz Untz Untz. I heard that sound from afar;. Untz Untz Untz Untz. In the Commodore next to me, Untz Untz Untz Untz. Three young kids. Chorus:. All the Wogboys&a...136. Volare Volare. oh, oh!. cantare. oh, oh, oh, oh!. nel blu, dipinto di blu. felice di stare lass. Ma tutti i sogni nell'alba svaniscon perch. Quando tramonta, la luna li porta con. Ma io continuo a sog...137. Watering Systems Shut, shut the door! Say I'm sick, I'm dead!. Turn off the mobile! Get the radio instead -. For the next four hours just leave me alone!. No, I don't friggin' care if the President...138. We Are The Champignons I've been crucified by all the scribes -. You can't see my back for all the knives;. The commentators have done all they could:. And fair enough - I'm just no good. I try my best, there...139. Weddings, Parties, Anything There are some sounds you love to hear -. Like when the twist top is undone. As you open up that stubby. When Friday night's finally come. It would be great to hear Courtney Love -. As you give h...140. Wham Bam Thank You Imam Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls. Clear the room of infidels, Grab your partner by the wrist:. We're gonna do "The Fundamentalist". Chorus. Palastine, it ain't mine no more -....141. Whatareya Whatareya?. You're a yob or you're a wanker -. Take your fucking choice;. So who is your favorite genius:. James Hird or James Joyce?. You ever seen a live performance?. Join the wanker club...142. While My Catarrh Gently Weeps A cold, hard September day -. Dogs barking across the lake -. Rocky Raccoon was heard to say, "That other Rocky, he's a fake. ". In the town the patrons paused, Swiftly emptied their la...143. Whinge Rock If your dishes stink in you putrid sink;. If your vacuum cleaner's bust;. If your refrigerator's on the blink, C'mon, sing along with us:. Chorus:. Whinge rock. This song's for the...144. Would The Last Person To Leave Please Turn Out The Murder! Murder! Murder! Murder!. There's a pomegranate up your blurter!. Eating fruit is mean and vicious!. Keep your hands off Golden Delicious!. World Bank is wrong! So is fetta!. My voodoo man...145. X-treme Sports Can Kiss My Arse Base jumping's for pussies. Kick boxing's for thugs. Jet skiers are morons, Weight lifters need drugs. Abseiling is pointless. Why climb up a wall?. Only right wankers. Play beach volleyball...
