She is old, yes very old. as she contemplates her nap. She knows damn well that if she sleeps. it just might be the last. So she lay with her eyes affixed. and slowly drifts away. Her life's been...
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1. A Better Place 2. A Hole In Your Soul I’m looking out my window, I can see all the good and the bad, And I’m trying to be thankful, For all the past fortunes I’ve had, I’m standing at the window, Trying to stay...3. A One Legged Bridge Jumper The big boy on the welfare cart, Takes up three quarters of a seat, And the junkie chick hangs on for dear life, She is nervous and somewhat wobbly. She’s got track marks on her arms, They tell...4. A Wreck In Progress Beaten down by the pouring rain, At least it rinses off the mortal pain, The wet bullet grazed the right side of. his brain, Leaving him with more than a migraine. Broad daylight, Ain’t the bes...5. A-bomb We're living in a frightening age. Especially with the scare of AIDS. Soon we won't touch one another. Without fear of losing a limb. Yes, we're out on a limb. Don't forget about A...6. All Those Opposed Way back when I was a kid. My mother, she always said. There are those who will do you wrong. To make you feel as if you don't belong. Way back when I was a kid. My father, he always said. Be sur...7. Appraise The Lord Twas praying to the heavens just the other night. When in thru the door walked Jesus Christ. He showed me proof, he had nail holes in his hands. And thirty none scars on his unclothed back. So I decid...8. Beautiful, Unlike You And I When you walked into the room. I couldn't keep my eye's off you. It wasn't because you were beautiful. But because you were ugly like me. Yes, there was an attraction. We had something...9. Better Homes And Gardens Later on, when I get old I'm gonna buy myself a better home. One that's better than where I now live. One that doesn't smell like shit. And it will have a garden to!. with tulips for me...10. Better Than Eddie Vedder He seemed shy and so confused. Now that he's older, he's last year's news. She is looking for somebody fresh and young. She is looking for someone less miserable. She's looking for...11. Big Thumbs Ashtray balanced on my chest. Sucking on a cigarette. If I don't burn in hell. I just might burn in bed. Staring into a glowing red ember. on a chilly morning in September. I look out my front wi...12. Bizarre Novelties I find it hard to talk. with a black ball in my mouth. Impossible to fart. with carrots up my ass. My neighbors think I'm weird. I do agree. Whatever turns your crank. Are you into bizarre novelt...13. Black Cloud Can you see the black cloud above his head?. Well, it was put there by the nuclear threat. He can't seem to have fun anymore. frightened by the impending war. So he drinks and it all goes away. A...14. Bobbitt Penis severed off with a butcher knife. Only to be sewn on again. A permanent notch on his crotch. Will it ever stiffen again?. He better keep it in his pants this time. Or he might lose it for good....15. Bodies In The Wall As I sleep, bedded down, I'm awakened by the sounds. Of people moaning in the halls. I think there's bodies in the walls. They scream at me, they yell at me. They tug at me, are they out to...16. Broken Toy There was a boy who had a toy. But it was no car or train. The toy that he had was the best toy in the world. The toy was called his brain. This toy could talk, this toy could think. There was no limi...17. Bumper Stickers Stop the senseless killing. Jesus is my chauffeur. Honk if your homo. God drives a Ford!. Do you ever read them?. Bumper stickers. Do you really need them?. Bumper stickers. If you don't like my...18. Cannibal Cafe Funny! I'm not familiar with this taste. Well I said are these ribs or is this steak?. Well I'd sure like to know what the hell this is I'm chewing. Well I said holy fuck! It's ano...19. Charlie Still Smirks A starlet lay dead. Her blood's on the fridge. Those hippies, they've gone too far. Once, they were passive. They did too much acid. While freaking out at the farm. Charlie is up again for p...20. Cheap Transistor Radio A cheap transistor radio underneath my pillow, I fell asleep to the hits, And I woke up with batteries dead, But it was worth it cuz I love music, And it’s better when it’s free. Much li...21. Cockatoo Quill Drinkin’ again, I’m not thinkin’ ahead, I got that shrinking feeling, That only grows larger, Day by day, Loggers buy lager. And I’m still sitting here, Writing my will wit...22. Costume Trunk Running away to join the circus. Every little boy's dream. When he got there, he discovered. That circus life isn't all it seems. The bearded lady was a bitch. The clown was a drunk. The str...23. Dean Martian I had a dream that I saw Dean. Yes, I saw Dino in my dream. He had the body of an alien. He was visiting planet Earth for the weekend. Dean Martin was a Martian. Approach with extreme caution. He was...24. Don't Have The Cow You should have listened to your mother. And ate your veggies when you were younger. You should have listened to your parents. And doubled up on your peas and carrots. Even though I eat meat. I apprec...25. Drunk On A Bike It happened so fast. He didn't have time to think. Or maybe he had too much. a bit too much to drink. When he went riding off. into the bright sunshine. It turned out to be. the lights of a car....26. Elaine Elaine Elaine, she had a funny name, Both names the same, Elaine, she drifted far away, I never saw her again. Elaine Elaine, She was painfully plain, Abnormally normal, That’s what I liked about her....27. Electric Chair God forgive me for I've sinned. I've killed all of my family, all of my kin. I lost all control, may do it again. Please rid the world of this devil within me. I feel guilty, I feel guilty....28. Elfie Schlegel Pulled a muscle. I popped a joint. My useless body. Is falling apart. I used to be limber. I used to have finesse. Now I'm just a pencilneck. But it wasn't always this way. I remember way ba...29. Eric's Had A Bad Day Eric got a speeding ticket. Eric stepped in human shit. He's had a bad day now. Eric drank a pint of salsa. Then went into convulsions. He's had a bad day now. Eric bought a new amp. Then go...30. Fate Dogboy climbed the tower. Not sure if he'd jump or fall. The driver of the big black hearse. He sat there waiting. Waiting for the worst. Waiting for the word. Dogtown was elated. When the boy cl...31. G.i. Joe Gets Angry With The World This one's about how my G. I. Joe came to life. And he kicked in my bedroom door last night. He grabbed me by my genitals. Mad at the fact that he had none of his own. G. I. Joe hates humans. Y...32. Gaggle Of Friends Had a gaggle of friends in high school. I know none of them now. Cleared my memory of them. Here's what I heard through the rumor mill. 'so and so's' a lawyer. you know who's...33. Get Off Your Ass You sit and complain. Instead of using your brain. You say you're bored out of your skull. Instead of crying, why aren't you trying?. To make things seem less dull. No, you're taking th...34. Gladly In Gloom Locked in his room. It is getting cold and lonely. Gladly in gloom. He has lost all hope in hoping. Try as he might. He can't drag himself outside:. Locked in his room. He is feeling sad and lone...35. Grunt, Groan, Rant And Rave He was at the club one night. Ready to see the band. He was sent by the paper. With his note pad & pen. And he saw this band called 'SNFU'. But he couldn't understand us because. Al...36. He's Not Getting Older, He's Getting Bitter Life is full of its ups and downs. and this man has seen his share. Now he finds that he's losing his mind. just as fast as he's losing his hair. All he does in the old folks' home is s...37. Head Smashed In Buffalo Jump Sideburns in the shape of a prairie province, Bookcased his face, baby. He looked alot like Elvis, Long before his name became disgraced, Back when he was young, Taking care of business in a flash, I...38. I Forget Hi, I'd like you to meet my mom. But there's no sense in introducing yourself. She'll only forget who you are in two or three minutes from now. You see, she's got Alzheimer's...39. I Know More Than You know more than you. No! I know more than you. We can go for coffee. We can sit and talk. You can do the sitting. While I do all the talking. I think I'm pretty smart. And I'm out to prove it...40. I Think Fine Art's Fine! I think fine art’s fine. With my one good eye, I may be colour-blind, But I know what I like, And I like, Lichtenstein!. He had a great way with line, And a background in graphic design, Oh! Le...41. I Used To Write Songs I used to write songs cursing the government. I used to write songs about how much the system sucked. I used to write songs about how we are all getting fucked. Now I write songs about love. Now I wri...42. I'm Really Scared Well the pressure builds up deep inside. And there's no hope to run and hide. It's gonna make you sweat, You're gonna end up wet. And it's no wonder why I'm so scared. Well I&...43. If I Die, Will You Die? Sidney and Nancy, Do you remember them?. Punk and addicted until their tragic end, Heroin was their enemy and friend, What we never heard was Nancy asking Sid. If I die, will you die?. Come on, let&#x...44. In The First Place I've always told myself that the hate is bad, yet sometimes it's so hard. And this smile I wear upon my face often seems. like a disguise. I know I have my opinions, but I never mean to hurt...45. Joni Mitchell Tapes Singing along to Joni Mitchell. As his face went through the windshield. of his '67 Chevrolet. He was driving on the wrong side. Just a wee bit on the drunk side. When the ditch became a shallow...46. Joyride Meet the man who loves to kill. Whenever he gets in to his automobile. He'll drive his car to the road. Searching for victims, young & old. He'll kill anyone that gets in his path. He do...47. Limping Away Where's the floor that once felt so secure?. Where are the walls that I once leaned on for support?. They are now gone, and I'm floating and hanging on. I know I can't hang on forever,...48. Loser At Life/loser At Death Frustrated kid, he hated life. Tried to end it with a butter knife. Didn't work, blade too dull. So he hammered nails into his skull. Loser at life, fumbled suicide attempts. Loser at death, what...49. Lovely Little Frankenstein I wonder what Mon and Dad would say. I wouldn't want to bring them shame. I know one day I'll have to tell them. Oh yes I'll tell them about 'it'. My lovely little Frankenstei...50. Manuel It was high noon, the sun was shinning. Manuel sharpened his blade. He stuck it in the ground. it came out twice as long. Chopped of the end of his leg. Madness sprouted in that garden. Manuel felt st...51. Michelle Pfeiffer's Diaper Had a vision of Michelle Pfeiffer. Wearing nothing but a diaper. Squatting over a roman candle. Dancing around in rhinestone sandals. Hey! well I don't know. How that thought got in there. Had a...52. Mind Like A Door Sometimes my mind's just like a door. it's open night and day always open to suggestion. Don't want to throw a good idea away. Sometimes my mind's just like a door it's closed...53. Misfortune There's fire at the end of the block. The people gather round to watch. Well instead of helping they just sit. As helpless people burn to a crisp. Oh! Misfortune - Why? Misfortune. And his dying...54. Money Matters Get up, go to work, then go home and sleep. Get up, go to work again, do this 5 days a week. And it gets you so frustrated, that it just ain't funny. Are you amazed at the things we'll do fo...55. Mutated Dog He has two heads and he has three legs. He has no tail what a crying shame. There is nothing for him to wag. to let us know that he's happy. Is he rabid? no. Is he rabid? no. Hey, I ought to know...56. My Mold Collection Won't you come to my place. and see my collection of mold. It hangs off the ceiling. Covers half the floor. No mold's too old. In the fridge, you can feast your eyes. upon many a fuzzy fiend...57. My Pathetic Past No prize for congeniality. Never knew popularity. The ugly stick had wished. To one day become a swan. Always picked last for sports teams. Got cheated out of my wet dream. I missed out on teenage sex...58. One Last Loveshove Give me your shoes and them I'll lick. Give me your feet and them I'll kiss. Because I would never want to hurt you. And if I did, you know just what I'd do. I'd throw myself off o...59. Painful Reminder The young boy had fallen in love. With his homeroom teacher. He has fallen in love. It happens everyday. In schools throughout the city. Throughout the city. She was married, he did learn. And inside...60. Plastic Surgery Kept Her Beautiful She used to be a wretched girl, a genuine ugly duck. Her body was in awful shape, had she been hit by a 2 ton truck?. Then one day she one the lottery and answered her childhood dream. She became the...61. Postman's Pet Peeve I'm a mailman and I hate my job. Not half as much as I hate the dogs. The ones that shit throughout my route. Yes, they're the ones I can do without. There you have it. that's my pet p...62. Questions, Questions, Questions What was it like, to be swallowed up by a mudslide? did you think you were gonna. did you ever give. Up hope? did you hear? could you see? did you find it hard to breathe? how did you get out of ther...63. Reality Is A Ride On The Bus My face is buried inside a book. Everybody's wearing a haggard look. The sirens scream, a baby cries. Everyday on this bus I ride. There's a man to my left. Who's got a stump for a hand...64. Rusty Rake Birds eat worms. Pigs eat turd. If I ever say a discouraging word. slash my face with a rusty rake. It will be something that I deserve. It's not like I live on the street. It's not like I l...65. Scarecrow I've got the ragged clothes and the matted down hair. And the cold dark eyes to provide that icy stare. Some day's I'm so weak I feel I'm made of straw. But, unlike a real scarecro...66. Seein' Life Through The Bottom Of A Bottle In the morning when he rises and hears the daily news. There's stories of people getting killed and criminals on the loose. And these are not the kind of things he wants to hear when he wakes. So...67. Seven Minutes Closer To Death Creeping, Crawling, Walking death. My heart it hurts. I clench my breath. Does someone have a cigarette?. Seven minutes closer to death. Seven minutes closer to death....68. She's Not On The Menu Who is that new waitress? He wants her on his plate. Well every time he sees her he just has to masturbate. He wants her luscious breasts on the end of his fork. But all this menu offers is chicken, b...69. Sick Lee & Coward Leigh I’m on sick leave, ’til I feel better, I came quite close to breaking forever, The grind of the daily, everyday today, Can sometimes leave you in some sort of pain they say. Not much gro...70. Snapping Turtle Don't know what's wrong with me today. it's all the rain that's causing rage. Got out of bed with a fiery head. and all I want to do is complain. I don't know what to think to...71. Spaceghost, The Twins And Blip Spaceghost, the twins, and blip. Were busy fighting the cosmic witch. She jumped in her craft and sped away. Leading them on a high speed chase. Spaceghost, the twins, and blip. Defending the cosmos i...72. Stepstranger The TV's loud. It screams at me again. Reminds me of my mom. Fighting with my new stepdad. Who the hell are you?. All you do is fuck my mom. and eat her food. Why should I listen to you?. You are...73. Straightening Out The Shelves (of My Mind) Yesterday I realized just how I've changed. Okay, wait a minute. let me explain. I was walking down the street when I heard a loud crash. A man lay on the road, flatter than flat. Was he dead or...74. Strangely Strange I'm feeling strangely strange. I'm in an unstately state. I hope I get better soon. I'm looking like the creature from the black lagoon. I feel strange. I'm in an unstately state....75. Tears When's the last time you've tasted their salty taste?. And you've had their feelings running down your face?. And you've cried and cried till you felt good inside. You cried and cr...76. The Birdman Of Malmo First there was one, Then there were two, Then there were three. Then came four, Over the years they’ve piled up. Now there’s one hundred or more, And there he is still putting up those...77. The Ceiling My alarm clock starts ringing much to my dismay. Go out there and kill em, it's another working day. But I just want to go back to sleep, I really don't wanna go. But I know I'm gonna h...78. The Devil's Voice I pride my record collection, it's the only thing I like to do. But, my dad insists they're evil things. with satanic messages in their grooves. He says he knows this for a fact cause the lo...79. The Gravedigger Late in the night, this solemn man he goes to work. Content with his job, placing people into the earth. Heaven or hell? I said that's one thing he can't decide. One thing's for sure, t...80. The Great Mind Eraser He sits and stares and looks up. At the crack lines on the ceiling. Nothing moves, not even him. He thinks of friends and wonders why. They seem to have such better lives. And he feels so left behind....81. The Happy Switch I thought the climb had ended and I was over the hill. And I seemed to have lost all of my motivational skills. I had to work much harder for some of that easy fun. Yes, just the other day I was a sti...82. The Heavy Head Dance Songs like these sound the best, Like when you’re really fuckin’ wasted, And drinking super, super high test, And snorting shit that ain’t even illegal yet. Go shake your heavy me...83. The King Of Skin Larry Flynt is the king of skin. Sitting in his wheelchair. collecting belly lint. Someone tried to shoot him. but the bullet didn't take. Now he has to park his car. in the handicap space. He&ap...84. The Kitchen Kreeps The rich people go there to wine & dine. Stuffing their faces by candlelight. I know this all sounds rather romantic. Only because you haven't passed through the kitchen doors. Behind them lu...85. The Kwellada Kid He had an itch that wouldn't stop. He caught it from someone who didn't wash. He had a nest for a crotch. He had one big piece of hot property. He's just a kid. The Kwellada kid. He had...86. The Quest For Fun I've tipped a few drinks and I've found it there. I've smoked some herb and smelt it in the air. Had it in a moment of sobriety. Wished it could last for all eternity. The quest for fun...87. The Watering Hole Whenever he gets to feeling low. He stumbles down to the watering hole. He wets his face with a brew. He feels refreshed, he gets real loose. I said help!. Help me fillet my soul. I hope I don't...88. The X-creep She clutched the scissors in her hand. Then raised them high above her head. She stabbed her boyfriend in the back. Then he hit the floor and bled. She did not know just what to do. So she went and ha...89. Thee Maul That Eats Peephole On the west side of our town there's a mall that always grows. It feeds on tourists and late night shoppers. And when you least expect it, it will suck your wallet clean but if you're one of...90. This Is A Goodbye There are times when I have fallen. To say I haven't would be lying. Some they fall, but never get up. They give in without even trying. You'd be surprised at the ones that slip. Deep into t...91. This Is The End It's not a job, it's an adventure. Smell the burning flesh up on the hillside. This is the end!. You're in the asshole of this earth. Now you know what you're really worth. To them...92. Time To Buy A Futon my bed's one big, rocky lump. And my back, it always seems to ache. Whenever I partake in sex. The damn bed always breaks. Looks like it's time. Looks like it's time, time, time. You sa...93. Tin Fish Was surfing the ocean blue. Hanging ten, that's five times two. Went out too far and it was a struggle. To get back to the shore. Still out too far and it got dark. I sensed a shark, but it was n...94. Tour Tantrum Stuck in a van too far from home. I need some time to be alone. I don't mind the guys, just can't stand their smells. Now I know the meaning of "roadhell". It's a tour tantrum...95. Trudging I've been trudging through the fog. I cannot see too clearly. The smog burns at my eyes. And it clutches at my windpipe. Tightly clutches at my windpipe. I've been trudging through this fog....96. Visiting The Bad Again There's a little monster in each of us. That we like to keep locked up inside. Sometimes these monsters get out. No matter how hard we try. One day mine did escape. Spreading destruction, rath an...97. Welcome To My Humble Life Of Disarray Seeing Sunday morning through bloodied eyes. I feel so dead, yet I'm so alive. And the aftertaste of alcohol makes me want more. As I peel my face off the kitchen floor. I look around me, and wha...98. What Good Hollywood? Hollywood's lights are fading fast and. Rarely is a new star born. With celebrities dropping off like flies. There will soon be no one left to adore. What good Hollywood without its idols?. What...99. Where's My Legs? You may think a man's brain stops. After he's been dead and his legs chopped off. Well, let me tell you a story to change that belief. It started back when I was still alive. My girlfriend a...100. You Make Me Thick I'm a talking, walking stick. Blow me over in the wind. I want to be paper thin. I want to fart through silk. Head in the toilet bowl. Two fingers down my throat. Vomit dripping off of my lips. S...
